so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
