Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
