So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize