Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
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