Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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