I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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