it hurts more in the daytime
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
