i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
being pregnant is like rehab
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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