I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
