that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
