ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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