Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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