woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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