if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
