Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
