we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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