You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
