areolas are like halos for boobs.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
