He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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