so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
