So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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