Already got asked if we're dating
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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