Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm like, not good at living.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
