I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
