Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
