watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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