This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Randomize
