she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
