Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
