i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
