i think i have herpe
just one?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
