I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
