not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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