By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
