I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize