You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
