You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
