At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I understand Curling. That high.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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