so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
