its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
