Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
