I want to have your abortion
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
