How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
