He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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