New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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