Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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