We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
