You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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