So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
