Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm jealous of your bromance
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honey bunches of taint.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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