YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
