I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
