I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
sex in a hospital.. check
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
