I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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