There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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