anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The beer is more important than you right now.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
