We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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