i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
