Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Damn victory sex feels great
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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