she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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