isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
