i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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