love makes seman taste better
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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