i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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