In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
